how to whip up the best poor mans cheese board
okay. let’s set the scene.
you’ve got friends coming over in 30 minutes. you told them you were “just doing something casual” but now you’re spiralling because all you’ve got in the fridge is half a block of cheddar, a suspicious cucumber, and a tub of hummus that may or may not be from last month.
enter: the poor man’s cheese board. aka, the unsung hero of last-minute hosting. aka, proof that you don’t need $100 of truffle brie and fig paste to impress people. you just need a little confidence, some chaos, and wine. obviously.
the rules (that aren't really rules):
- use what you've got a cheese board is just a fancy name for stuff on a plate. got cheddar? slice it up. some feta? crumble it in a ramekin with olive oil + chilli flakes. babybel? take off the wax and pretend it's intentional.
- contrast is key if it's salty, add sweet. if it's soft, add crunch. grab that bag of pretzels, a rogue apple, some leftover easter chocolate. no one's judging.
- the art of being 'intentionally' messy cut things messy. throw them on a wooden board (or baking tray, or chopping board, or dinner plate if we're really down bad). add some wine glasses and a candle and you’re on fire.
- sauce, always if you have literally any kind of dip, condiment or random jar of something - use it. hummus, chutney, caramelised onion, spoonful of pesto, leftover bolognese (okay, maybe not that one).
- pair it with wine this is where we shine. grab a bottle of something juicy - like our sparkling red. it'll tie the whole thing together and make the $4 colby taste like a cheese from the south of france.
just remember: you can’t mess this up. put it on a board, pour the wine, you’re a genius.
cheers.